Why Neknominate is so popular with Young People and what Parents and Schools should do about it.

As NekNominate claims its third UK victim (Salesman becomes third British victim of NekNominate craze after downing two PINTS of gin and posting video on the internet Daily Mail 16/02/2014), there is little doubt that the latest Facebook craze is dangerous - but that indeed is its attraction for young people.

The NekNominate phenomenon brings together four drivers of the culture of young people:

1. The propensity to explore drinking limits.  This is not a new phenomenon: young people have played drinking games since the invention of alcohol. 
2. The desire to take risks. Research by Professor Sarah-Jane Blakemore of University College, London, demonstrates that risk-taking is a key feature of the adolescent brain. She has found that the limbic system of young people aged 16 to 24 is hypersensitive and rewards risk-taking. 'They are particularly prone to taking risks when they are with their friends.' (See Sarah-Jayne Blakemore's TED Talk: The mysterious workings of the adolescent brain). The fact is that young people are wired to take risks. This goes a long-way to explain the  Gap-year bungee-jump phenomenon.
3. The need to be loved/ respected by one's peers is a well-documented driver of many aspects of human society. Family, employment, philanthropy in its many forms and, more recently, celebrity have provided these for generations. Today, the Internet provides the ability to achieve "fifteen minutes of fame" and to engage instantly no only with friends and family but with an audience that twenty years ago was only available to TV celebrities and leading politicians.
4. The ability to publish information about oneself to the Internet. There is a tendency among many people 'to live out their lives' on Facebook. Social Media provide instant feedback and reaffirmation - friends can comment and 'like'; 'hits' and 'retweets' are counted, all fueling the need to be loved and respected. The problem with this is that young people have little concept that publishing to the Internet is like having a digital tattoo: it is very difficult to get rid of what you have written once it is published.

The combination of these factors mean that young people are competing for each other's attention on a world stage and the threshold for notoriety and 'respect' are consequently higher. As the rewards go up, so do the stakes and the consequence is that the entry level for the respect of one's peers is for NekNominees to risk their own lives.

So what can we do as parents and educators?

Well we can't really stop it or ban it.  The phenomenon is out there and young people will always find ways around any parental controls that we put in place. 

Here are four antidotes to the NekNominate phenomenon.

1. Ensure that young people not only are educated about safe drinking limits, but also that they know what to do if they or one of their friends go too far.
2. Channel the risk-taking.  Given that young people are wired to take risks, it makes sense to provide young people opportunities to take risks in controlled environments. Outdoor education has a huge part to play in this - rock climbing, skiing, expeditions take young people out of their comfort zones and can fulfil the need to take risks, but within the bounds of overall safety. 
3. Provide 'real-world' opportunities to demonstrate love and respect for young people. Parents and schools need to celebrate the positive contributions that young people make. Most importantly young people need to feel loved by their parents (and this is often best achieved by setting consistent boundaries for them).
4. Ensure that young people not only are Internet-aware, but that they have people to talk to when times get tough. Extended family and a school's counselling service can play a very important role in this.

Pressures on Young People: Sex, Drugs, Rock'n'roll and Digital Tattoos

A presentation to Berkhamsted School Y9 Parents given on Wednesday 27 November 2013

 

This Presentation included two videos produced by the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty:

Spirit of Progress?

It is perhaps ironic, but nevertheless welcome, that Tesco have spoken out against the evils of alcohol [BBC News report]. Not only are they in favour of the coalition government's proposal to ban below-cost sales of alcohol in England and Wales, but they are also in support of a minimum pricing system. All this is welcome news to those of us working with young people, for whom access to spirits at pocket money prices is a recipe [cocktail?] for disaster.

Given that a bottle of Vodka is retailing on the shelves of Tesco today at £7.79, Tesco would have greater credibility if their actions matched their rhetoric.

Vodka and Haribo - Still Life 2010

My daily walk between school sites takes me through a public open space and a children's playground. This is well known evening gathering point for the local teenagers who are too youthful to be allowed entry into one or other of the dozen or so hostelries in the town. The juxtaposition of a vodka bottle and a Haribo packet amongst the inevitable litter they leave behind is a timely warning to those of us who are parents about the social dangers that face many mid-teenagers.

Most parents that I meet are worried about their children coming into contact with drugs but the real social evil that should concern them is alcohol. With spirits retailing at less than £10.00 a bottle in supermarkets, most teenagers can afford to pick up a bottle from their pocket money. Fake IDs are routine and there always seems to be an older teen around to effect the transaction. The prevalence of alcopops has taken away one of the greatest bars on teenage drinking from previous generations - the taste. Most young teenagers don't like the taste of beer, wine or even cider. Alcopops are not particularly alcoholic, but they appeal to those with a sweet tooth, slip down like fizzy drinks and have become an entry level to drinking spirits. It is no surprise that teenage drinking is a National problem.

The whole world of teenage parties and alcohol is one of the most difficult that parents face. Children will always try to play parents off against each other - "So-and-so's parents let them, you are SO tight!" - and the consequence is that it is tempting for parents to default to the level of the most liberal. It is important that parents establish good lines of communication between each other and that they are clear about a number of keys issues, namely

• at what age alcohol will be available,
  
• the amount and type of alcohol that will be provided, and,
• what levels of supervision will be in place throughout the party
  

In my experience, it makes sense to keep parties totally alcohol-free before the sixteenth birthday circuit, and thereafter limiting access to wines and beers [i.e. no spirits]. Although alcopops, which are particularly popular with girls, blur the spirit/ non-spirit divide, at least they are a 'measured' drink - I am not sure that it is ever wise to let young people pour their own! A strong, active adult presence at all teenage parties is essential - 'policing' duties range from excluding gatecrashers to being willing to check bags for teenagers 'smuggling in' illicit additional supplies of alcohol. A minimum of three adults at a ratio of one adult to ten teenagers should provide a good level of supervision and sufficient cover if anything goes wrong.

Alcohol is a normal part of adult society and it is important that young people learn to drink responsibly. This skill is best taught in the home, with parents perhaps offering a glass of wine with a meal or when at a family gathering. Supervision is the key. The greatest dangers come when teenagers are given opportunity to have access to alcohol - especially spirits - away from the home or behind closed doors.

Most importantly, parents should not underestimate the role that we play as role-models to our children - young people will pay more attention to what we do, than to what we say.


Part of this blogpost was published as an article "Teenage parties and alcohol - setting the ground rules" on the GSA MyDaughter website