A Sense of Belonging at Work - Lee Waller: Summary of Key Arguments

The main thesis of A Sense of Belonging at Work by Lee Waller, Professor of Occupational Psychology at Hult International Business School, is that a sense of belonging at work improves employee wellbeing and performance.

The book has a simple, logical structure: the first part explores what it means to belong before moving onto what organisations can do to establish a sense of belonging.

Part One: What it means to Belong

Professor Waller draws on humanist (Maslow), social and evolutionary psychologists to establish that 'belonging is a fundamental human need' that has evolved to support our survival.

Her research has identified the three factors which undermine belonging in the workplace (Chapter 2):

1. An absence of quality relationships: "not being able to connect with people in the workplace on a personal level also means that we do not have the opportunity to be open about how we are feeling, to share our emotional experience, and feel validated, understood and cared for, which are cornerstones of intimate interactions and quality relationships." (p.25)
2. A sense of not being value: "feeling we are making a difference, adding value, are respected, and recognised for our work is an important component of a sense of belonging in the workplace." (p.27)
3. A lack of commonality or shared characteristics with those with whom we work i.e. being different in some way: ethnicity, sexuality, gender, identity, disability, cognitive make up, educational/socio-economic background, 

"Organisational practices, structures and cultures can have a significant influence on whether a sense of not belonging is fostered, developed and maintained." (p.31)

The impact of not-belonging on wellbeing (Chapter 3):

1. Belonging and a sense of self: not-belonging can undermine our sense of self - "They think therefore I am." (p.38)
2. Self-efficacy (the belief that we can be successful in future tasks), Competence and Self Belief: not-belonging can elicit feelings that we are not good enough or do not add value.
3. Self-esteem: the purpose of self-esteem is to make us aware that our inclusion is under threat. "In my research, the impact of self-esteem was core to the significance and negative impact of a sense of not-belonging." (p.39)
4. Coherent sense of self: cognitive dissonance - "a sense of not-belonging impacts our ability to be ourselves at work." (p.43)
5. Mood and Emotion: "a sense of not-belonging at work also has a bit impact on our emotional and mental well-being" (p.44)

Belonging and performance - the trap of not belonging (Chapter 4):

1. Trap One: Ability to be ourselves:
• Social Monitoring - heightened sensitivity to feedback from others; danger of over-thinking
• Conformity - Hewlin's "Facades of Conformity". Danger of organisation of "group think", but also on a personal level of cognitive dissonance and the shame of authenticity.
2. Trap Two: Self-protection: not-belonging can result in a self-fulfilling prophecy. "self-protection strategies play out in withdrawal, detachment, avoidance and, at times, disruptive behaviour." (p.52).

"The culture of the organisation has a critical role to play in both fostering a sense of belonging and in determining the strategies employees might engage in to cope with it." (p.55)

"our ability as leaders to ensure the members of our teams have a sense of belonging is crucial to ensuring their performance" (p.58) 

Part Two: Establishing a sense of belonging

Caveat: Not all work environments are conducive to making connections (remote working etc.) and we set ourselves professional rules and boundaries that separate the personal from the professional.

Developing Quality Relationships (Chapter 5)

1. Establishing relationships: 
• find commonalities, take opportunities to get to know and be known by colleagues
2. Making relationships meaningful:
• Knowing others: 
• we need to understand more about our colleagues than superficial facts: what are their underlying motives and intentions?
• Enquiry: Ask open questions to understand, rather than to just gain information.
• Presence: be fully present
• Active listening: Empathetic Listening - Remember what people say and follow up.
• Trust: 7-38-55 communication model (7% the words. 38% the tone, 55% body language)
• Knowing you
• Be you: Γνώθι Σεαυτόν Be your true and authentic self.
• Be human "being open about vulnerabilities not only has an enormously powerful and liberating effect on us and others, but it helps us to connect - helps us to see each other as similarly vulnerable human beings." (p.76)

Establishing and adding our value (Chapter 6)

1. Identifying strengths: 
• “We all have our own unique blend of experience, genetics, intellect, education and personality. . . . No one else can offer exactly what we do.” (p.78)
• Get to know your team
• Positive and strengths-based perspective to developing self-awareness - see https://positivepsychology.com/
2. Leveraging strengths:
• Task crafting - involves changing the function of the role
• Relationship crafting - involves reshaping and reforming the social interactions we have with others.
• Cognitive crafting - involves changing the way we think about our work.
• Autonomy is key - "autonomy signals that they are considered as a trusted, competent and valued members of the team" (p.84)
3. Developing strengths:
• Feedback: 
• both positive and negative needs to be delivered in the moment, when it can have impact.
• BOFF Model: Behaviour (example of behaviour observed) - Outcome (What was the outcome/ impact of the behaviour) - Feeling (how does the behaviour make you feel?) - Future (How can they develop more acceptable behaviour in the future?)
• Coaching
• asking questions, not providing answers. "If we coach our employees, we not only support their development, but we empower them to be able to solve future challenges themselves, to apply the process of learning to other situations." (p.87)
• Whitmore's GROW model: Goal (of the coaching conversation) - Reality (awareness of the present situation) - Options (finding and exploring alternative solutions) - Will (what will they do and their commitment to undertake those actions).

Diversity and Belonging (Chapter 7)

1. The many forms of diversity
2. Evidence of the continued existence of prejudice, discrimination and bias
3. Reasons for the continuation of racial inequality
• Structural and Systemic
• Unconscious bias
• "Micro-aggressions are defined as verbal, behavioural or environmental indignities that communicate hostile, derogatory or negative affronts or insults to an individual or a group."
• "Micro-inequities are small and subtle events or behaviours that systematically unfairly treat individuals or groups who are perceived to be different, leaving them feeling 'othered', different and excluded."
• Ignorance of the real lived experience of BIPOC
4. Addressing Discrimination in our work places
• Developing diverse intelligence
• Developing self-awareness
• Becoming an ally.

Fostering psychological safety (Chapter 8)

1. What is psychological safety?
• "Psychological safety is about the ability to speak frankly, with honesty and candour without disagreements, conflicts or concerns, it is not about being polite." (p.107)
• Teams connect at a human level - "They share their vulnerabilities, their concerns, voice their differences an support each other with empathy and compassion."
2. Fostering psychological safety
• Leader characteristics
• authenticity
• humility: leaders talk openly about vulnerabilities and failures
• Interpersonal skills
• presence, active listening, focused attention and empathy
• Permission to care
• focus on how the team experience the workplace - whether they feel valued, trusted, cared for, included and supported.
• Tolerance of failure
• A tolerant approach to failure can be communicated by 
• the vulnerability and humility we model as leaders;
• the language we use when we talk about failures.
• Addressing the unspoken - create a speak up culture - uncover the stinky fish.

Being an inclusive leader (Chapter 9)

1. What is an inclusive leader? 
• Inclusive leaders have "the courage to take conscious steps to break down barriers for people at risk of being excluded from society." 
• "Inclusive leaders embody a leadership approach that appreciates diversity, invites and welcomes everyone's individual contribution, and encourages full engagement with the processes of decision-making and shaping reality." (p.116)
2. An inclusive mindset
• an open and curious mind
• self-awareness, humility and vulnerability - authentic self
• insight into cultural dynamics, tensions and misunderstandings
3. Inclusive behaviours
• Collaboration
• Integrative Thinking (Oliver and Holscher) - "Innovating involves the integration of different perspectives to arrive at something new - the power of 1 + 1 = 3." (p.119)
• Inclusive Conversations: "require the interpersonal skills of attention, active listening, open questions, trust, and rapport" - i.e. psychological safety. Reflection on the quality of the conversations.
4. Courage and Commitment
• Challenging others: (discriminatory behaviour, unhelpful ways of communicating, disrespectful ways of interacting).
• Challenging the system: systemic institutionalised practices
• Challenging ourselves: self-awareness and humility

Reframing a sense of belonging (Chapter 10)

"Man is troubled, not by events, but by the meaning he gives to them." (Epictetus)

1. What sense of not-belonging means for us.
• Disconnect between the objective, rational perspective and own personal narrative
2. Unconscious Cognitions
• Self-Conscious Affect Theory: 
• guilt - negative interpretation of our behaviour. encourage productive behaviours because we believe behaviours are unstable (liable to change), controllable (something we can change) and situation specific.
• shame -  negative interpretation of the self: we believe behaviours are stable, uncontrollable and global. Therefore fight/ flight/ freeze often avoid/ hide/ withdraw. Shame results in anti-social behaviours.
3. Challenging our inner critic
• Inner critics can manifest as ubiquitous, perpetual, negative self-perceptions and frequent ANTS (automatic. negative thoughts)
• See Identifying ANTS from PositivePsychology.com
• "Becoming aware of our own negative thoughts when, where and why they occur is the first critical step of taming our inner critic." (p.129)
4. Step One: awareness and acceptance
• Brown's Shame Resilience Theory:
• Recognising Shame and understanding our triggers
• Practising Critical Awareness
• Reaching out and Telling our Story
• Speaking Shame
• Curiosity and self-compassion: "accepting that negative, distorted thoughts are a natural human experience."
5. Step Two: challenge
• Lee's five steps to challenging and ultimately modifying negative thoughts:
• Examining: identifying the evidence both for and against the thought
• Exploring: what the thought means to us
• Exposing: the bias/ distortion/ assumptions on which the thought is based
• Expanding: our perspective by considering alternative believes and propositions.
• Experimenting: with different ways of thinking.
• Socratic Questioning:
6. Step Three: reframe: create an alternative appraisal of the situation that stimulated the negative thought. "The aim here is not to silence or switch off our inner critic, but to develop an alternative, positive narrative to counter it." (p.133)
• Distancing Approach:
• Given the situation, what advice would we give to a friend or loved one, what alternative believe or interpretation might we use?
• Thought Records - force breaking down the thought process.
• Belief - Alternate Belief
• Evidence for Belief - Evidence for Alternate Belief
• Emotion for Belief - Emotion for Alternate Belief
• Action for Belief - Action for Alternate Belief

Flourish by Martin Seligman – a summary of key points

Martin Seligman, Professor of Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, is one of the founding fathers of the Positive Psychology movement, and Flourish (2011) is the summary of how he and the team at Penn have applied these principles in different contexts.

Wellbeing - The Focus of Positive Psychology

For Seligman the focus of Positive Psychology is ‘Wellbeing’ rather than ‘Happiness’. He identifies three inadequacies in authentic happiness theory: 1) happiness is inextricably bound up with being in a cheerful mood; 2) life satisfaction holds too privileged a place; 3) “positive emotion, engagement and meaning do not exhaust elements that people choose for their own sake.” (p.13-14).

Wellbeing is a construct (like ‘weather’ or ‘freedom’) – no single measure defines it exhaustively (“operationalises” it).

The focal topic of positive Psychology is the construct of wellbeing, not the entity of life-satisfaction,

Wellbeing has five measurable elements (PERMA): (p.24)

1.      P ositive Emotion (of which happiness and life satisfaction are all elements.

2.      E ngagement

3.      R elationships (Positive Relationships)

4.      M eaning

5.      A ccomplishment

“The goal of Positive Psychology in wellbeing theory is measure and build human flourishing.” p.29  Therefore Wellbeing must be buildable.

Exercises that build Wellbeing

1. The Gratitude Letter Write a letter of gratitude to someone who did or said something that changed your life for the better(300 words)
2. What-Went-Well (Also called “Three Blessings”) Exercise.  Every night for a week at the end of the day write down three things that went well and why they went well.
3. Signature/ Character Strengths Survey (https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/questionnaires/survey-character-strengths).  Getting people in touch with their strengths, rather than just trying to correct their weaknesses.This focuses on XXX signature/ character strengths, which can be organised into clusters

a)      Wisdom and Knowledge

                                                               i.      Curiosity/Interest in the world

                                                             ii.      Love of Learning

                                                           iii.      Judgement/Critical Thinking/ Open-mindedness

                                                           iv.      Ingenuity/Originality/Practical Intelligence/Street Smarts

                                                             v.      Social Intelligence/ Personal Intelligence/ Emotional Intelligence

                                                           vi.      Perspective

b)      Courage

                                                               i.      Valour and Bravery

                                                             ii.      Perseverance/ Industry/ Diligence

                                                           iii.      Integrity/Genuineness/Honesty

c)       Humanity and Love

                                                               i.      Kindness and Generosity

                                                             ii.      Loving and Allowing Oneself to be Loved

d)      Justice

                                                               i.      Citizenship/Duty/Teamwork/Loyalty

                                                             ii.      Fairness and Equity

                                                           iii.      Leadership

e)      Temperance

                                                               i.      Self-control

                                                             ii.      Prudence/Discretion/Caution

                                                           iii.      Humility and Modesty

f)        Transcendence

                                                               i.      Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence

                                                             ii.      Gratitude

                                                           iii.      Hope/Optimism/Future-Mindedness

                                                           iv.      Spirituality/Sense of Purpose/Faith/Religiousness

                                                             v.      Forgiveness and Mercy

                                                           vi.      Playfulness and Humour

                                                         vii.      Zest/Passion/Enthusiasm

“Identify which of these character strengths you have in abundance and then use them as much as possible in school, in hobbies and with friends and family.” (p.84)

The Dirty Little Secret of Drugs and Therapy (Chapter 3)

• According to the World Health Organisaton (WHO) depression is the most costly disease in the world and the treatments of choice are drugs and psychotherapy.
• Drugs and therapies for depression are not curative but cosmetic – they do not cure, they relieve the symptoms.
• Seligman argues that cure comes through building the enabling conditions for life. Positive Psychology can provide a lasting cure by building ‘positive emotion, meaning, accomplishment and positive relationships’ (p.53).

Positive Education: Teaching Wellbeing to Young People (Chapter 5)

Three reasons for teaching Positive Psychology in Schools:

“Wellbeing should be taught in schools because it would be an antidote to the runaway incidence of depression, a way to increase life satisfaction, and an aid to better learning and more creative thinking.” (p.80)

1. Penn Resiliency Program (PRP) Aims

a.       Aims

                                                               i.      to increase students’ ability to handle day-to-day problems that are common during adolescence.

                                                             ii.      To promote optimism by teaching students to think more realistically about the problems they encounter

                                                           iii.      To teach key skills (assertiveness, creative brainstorming, decision-making, relaxation and several other coping skills).

b.      Research findings:

                                                               i.      Reduces and prevents symptoms of depression.

                                                             ii.      Reduces hopelessness.

                                                           iii.      Prevents clinical levels of depression and anxiety.

                                                           iv.      Reduces and prevents anxiety.

                                                             v.      Reduces conduct problems.

                                                           vi.      PRP works equally well for children of different racial and ethnic backgrounds.

2.     Geelong Grammar School

a.     Teaching Positive Education

                                                               i.      “The backbone of the course was discovering and using their own signature strengths.”(p.89)

                                                             ii.      How to build more positive emotion (10^th Grade)

1.      Gratitude Journal - What Went Well

2.      ABC Model: How beliefs (B) about an adversity (A) – and not the adversity itself – cause the consequent (C) feelings. Development of ‘real-time resilience’.

3.      Active-constructive responding (ACR) with a friend and the importance of a 3:1 Losada positive-to-negative ratio.

b.      Embedding Positive Education

                                                               i.      Geelong teachers embedded positive education into academic courses, on the sports field, in pastoral counselling, in music and in the chapel.

c.       Living Positive Education

3.  Positive Computing p.93

a.     “Personal Flourishing Assistant” mobile app that tags experiences to build a “positive portfolio” – e.g. four peak moments from the last week.

b.      www.avantgame.com -games that build character strengths.

4.      A new measure of prosperity

a.       “The aim of wealth should not be to blindly produce a higher GDP but to produce more wellbeing.” (p.96)

Sociology, Psychology and Positive Character

Social science has highjacked society’s thinking with the philosophy that the environment, rather than character or heredity is a better explanation of what people do.

The consequence of this is four-fold:

• Individuals are no longer responsible for their actions, since the causes lie not in the person but in the situation;
• Social science must isolate the situations that shape crime, ignorance, prejudice, failure and all the other ills that befall human beings, so that these situations can be corrected.
• The focus of inquiry must be bad events;
• We are driven by the past rather than drawn to the future.

Positive Psychology has a different approach

• The world can be bettered by identifying and then shaping character, both good and bad.

Elements of Success

Theory: Achievement = skill x effort  -  Angela Duckworth

1. 1.      Speed – of thought, processing

a.       Achievement = skill x effort

b.      The more skilled, the faster you can go

c.       The faster, the more material on automatic, the more one knows about the task.

1. 2.      Slowness:

a.       Speed and anxiety go together

b.      Children who process too fast - Tools of the Mind curriculum

c.       The voluntary, heavyweight processes of achievement, such as planning, refining, checking for errors and creativity.

d.      The faster the speed, the more the knowledge, and thus the more time left for these executive functions to be used.

1. 3.      The Rate of Learning

a.       How fast new information can be deposited into the back account of automatic knowledge, allowing even more time for the slow executive processes.

1. 4.      Effort: = time on task   *this has a multiplier effect

a.       “Deliberate Practice” = the amount of time and energy you spend on deliberate practice.

b.      Self-discipline is the character trait that engenders deliberate practice

c.       Measuring self-discipline – composite measure

                                                               i.      Eysenck Junior Impulsiveness scale

                                                             ii.      A parent and teacher self-control rating scale

                                                           iii.      Delay of gratification

d.      GRIT (the never yielding form of self-discipline) test p.121

“The real leverage that you have for more achievement is more effort.” (p.125)

Effort multiplies existing skill and knowledge.

COVID19 – Progress Report and Planning for School Reopening - ISBA Webinar

An Independent Schools Bursars Association (ISBA) webinar given by Mark Steed on Thursday 14th May 2020 updating on how Kellett School in Hong Kong is preparing for reopening the school after 15 weeks of Covid-19 closures.

The Webinar is here:


The Slides are here:

How to support pupil, staff and parental wellbeing when your school is closed

A Tes Webinar presented on 1st and on the 29th April 2020, drawing on the experience of Kellett School In Hong during the closures because of Covid-19