A Sense of Belonging at Work - Lee Waller: Summary of Key Arguments

The main thesis of A Sense of Belonging at Work by Lee Waller, Professor of Occupational Psychology at Hult International Business School, is that a sense of belonging at work improves employee wellbeing and performance.

The book has a simple, logical structure: the first part explores what it means to belong before moving onto what organisations can do to establish a sense of belonging.

Part One: What it means to Belong

Professor Waller draws on humanist (Maslow), social and evolutionary psychologists to establish that 'belonging is a fundamental human need' that has evolved to support our survival.

Her research has identified the three factors which undermine belonging in the workplace (Chapter 2):

1. An absence of quality relationships: "not being able to connect with people in the workplace on a personal level also means that we do not have the opportunity to be open about how we are feeling, to share our emotional experience, and feel validated, understood and cared for, which are cornerstones of intimate interactions and quality relationships." (p.25)
2. A sense of not being value: "feeling we are making a difference, adding value, are respected, and recognised for our work is an important component of a sense of belonging in the workplace." (p.27)
3. A lack of commonality or shared characteristics with those with whom we work i.e. being different in some way: ethnicity, sexuality, gender, identity, disability, cognitive make up, educational/socio-economic background, 

"Organisational practices, structures and cultures can have a significant influence on whether a sense of not belonging is fostered, developed and maintained." (p.31)

The impact of not-belonging on wellbeing (Chapter 3):

1. Belonging and a sense of self: not-belonging can undermine our sense of self - "They think therefore I am." (p.38)
2. Self-efficacy (the belief that we can be successful in future tasks), Competence and Self Belief: not-belonging can elicit feelings that we are not good enough or do not add value.
3. Self-esteem: the purpose of self-esteem is to make us aware that our inclusion is under threat. "In my research, the impact of self-esteem was core to the significance and negative impact of a sense of not-belonging." (p.39)
4. Coherent sense of self: cognitive dissonance - "a sense of not-belonging impacts our ability to be ourselves at work." (p.43)
5. Mood and Emotion: "a sense of not-belonging at work also has a bit impact on our emotional and mental well-being" (p.44)

Belonging and performance - the trap of not belonging (Chapter 4):

1. Trap One: Ability to be ourselves:
• Social Monitoring - heightened sensitivity to feedback from others; danger of over-thinking
• Conformity - Hewlin's "Facades of Conformity". Danger of organisation of "group think", but also on a personal level of cognitive dissonance and the shame of authenticity.
2. Trap Two: Self-protection: not-belonging can result in a self-fulfilling prophecy. "self-protection strategies play out in withdrawal, detachment, avoidance and, at times, disruptive behaviour." (p.52).

"The culture of the organisation has a critical role to play in both fostering a sense of belonging and in determining the strategies employees might engage in to cope with it." (p.55)

"our ability as leaders to ensure the members of our teams have a sense of belonging is crucial to ensuring their performance" (p.58) 

Part Two: Establishing a sense of belonging

Caveat: Not all work environments are conducive to making connections (remote working etc.) and we set ourselves professional rules and boundaries that separate the personal from the professional.

Developing Quality Relationships (Chapter 5)

1. Establishing relationships: 
• find commonalities, take opportunities to get to know and be known by colleagues
2. Making relationships meaningful:
• Knowing others: 
• we need to understand more about our colleagues than superficial facts: what are their underlying motives and intentions?
• Enquiry: Ask open questions to understand, rather than to just gain information.
• Presence: be fully present
• Active listening: Empathetic Listening - Remember what people say and follow up.
• Trust: 7-38-55 communication model (7% the words. 38% the tone, 55% body language)
• Knowing you
• Be you: Γνώθι Σεαυτόν Be your true and authentic self.
• Be human "being open about vulnerabilities not only has an enormously powerful and liberating effect on us and others, but it helps us to connect - helps us to see each other as similarly vulnerable human beings." (p.76)

Establishing and adding our value (Chapter 6)

1. Identifying strengths: 
• “We all have our own unique blend of experience, genetics, intellect, education and personality. . . . No one else can offer exactly what we do.” (p.78)
• Get to know your team
• Positive and strengths-based perspective to developing self-awareness - see https://positivepsychology.com/
2. Leveraging strengths:
• Task crafting - involves changing the function of the role
• Relationship crafting - involves reshaping and reforming the social interactions we have with others.
• Cognitive crafting - involves changing the way we think about our work.
• Autonomy is key - "autonomy signals that they are considered as a trusted, competent and valued members of the team" (p.84)
3. Developing strengths:
• Feedback: 
• both positive and negative needs to be delivered in the moment, when it can have impact.
• BOFF Model: Behaviour (example of behaviour observed) - Outcome (What was the outcome/ impact of the behaviour) - Feeling (how does the behaviour make you feel?) - Future (How can they develop more acceptable behaviour in the future?)
• Coaching
• asking questions, not providing answers. "If we coach our employees, we not only support their development, but we empower them to be able to solve future challenges themselves, to apply the process of learning to other situations." (p.87)
• Whitmore's GROW model: Goal (of the coaching conversation) - Reality (awareness of the present situation) - Options (finding and exploring alternative solutions) - Will (what will they do and their commitment to undertake those actions).

Diversity and Belonging (Chapter 7)

1. The many forms of diversity
2. Evidence of the continued existence of prejudice, discrimination and bias
3. Reasons for the continuation of racial inequality
• Structural and Systemic
• Unconscious bias
• "Micro-aggressions are defined as verbal, behavioural or environmental indignities that communicate hostile, derogatory or negative affronts or insults to an individual or a group."
• "Micro-inequities are small and subtle events or behaviours that systematically unfairly treat individuals or groups who are perceived to be different, leaving them feeling 'othered', different and excluded."
• Ignorance of the real lived experience of BIPOC
4. Addressing Discrimination in our work places
• Developing diverse intelligence
• Developing self-awareness
• Becoming an ally.

Fostering psychological safety (Chapter 8)

1. What is psychological safety?
• "Psychological safety is about the ability to speak frankly, with honesty and candour without disagreements, conflicts or concerns, it is not about being polite." (p.107)
• Teams connect at a human level - "They share their vulnerabilities, their concerns, voice their differences an support each other with empathy and compassion."
2. Fostering psychological safety
• Leader characteristics
• authenticity
• humility: leaders talk openly about vulnerabilities and failures
• Interpersonal skills
• presence, active listening, focused attention and empathy
• Permission to care
• focus on how the team experience the workplace - whether they feel valued, trusted, cared for, included and supported.
• Tolerance of failure
• A tolerant approach to failure can be communicated by 
• the vulnerability and humility we model as leaders;
• the language we use when we talk about failures.
• Addressing the unspoken - create a speak up culture - uncover the stinky fish.

Being an inclusive leader (Chapter 9)

1. What is an inclusive leader? 
• Inclusive leaders have "the courage to take conscious steps to break down barriers for people at risk of being excluded from society." 
• "Inclusive leaders embody a leadership approach that appreciates diversity, invites and welcomes everyone's individual contribution, and encourages full engagement with the processes of decision-making and shaping reality." (p.116)
2. An inclusive mindset
• an open and curious mind
• self-awareness, humility and vulnerability - authentic self
• insight into cultural dynamics, tensions and misunderstandings
3. Inclusive behaviours
• Collaboration
• Integrative Thinking (Oliver and Holscher) - "Innovating involves the integration of different perspectives to arrive at something new - the power of 1 + 1 = 3." (p.119)
• Inclusive Conversations: "require the interpersonal skills of attention, active listening, open questions, trust, and rapport" - i.e. psychological safety. Reflection on the quality of the conversations.
4. Courage and Commitment
• Challenging others: (discriminatory behaviour, unhelpful ways of communicating, disrespectful ways of interacting).
• Challenging the system: systemic institutionalised practices
• Challenging ourselves: self-awareness and humility

Reframing a sense of belonging (Chapter 10)

"Man is troubled, not by events, but by the meaning he gives to them." (Epictetus)

1. What sense of not-belonging means for us.
• Disconnect between the objective, rational perspective and own personal narrative
2. Unconscious Cognitions
• Self-Conscious Affect Theory: 
• guilt - negative interpretation of our behaviour. encourage productive behaviours because we believe behaviours are unstable (liable to change), controllable (something we can change) and situation specific.
• shame -  negative interpretation of the self: we believe behaviours are stable, uncontrollable and global. Therefore fight/ flight/ freeze often avoid/ hide/ withdraw. Shame results in anti-social behaviours.
3. Challenging our inner critic
• Inner critics can manifest as ubiquitous, perpetual, negative self-perceptions and frequent ANTS (automatic. negative thoughts)
• See Identifying ANTS from PositivePsychology.com
• "Becoming aware of our own negative thoughts when, where and why they occur is the first critical step of taming our inner critic." (p.129)
4. Step One: awareness and acceptance
• Brown's Shame Resilience Theory:
• Recognising Shame and understanding our triggers
• Practising Critical Awareness
• Reaching out and Telling our Story
• Speaking Shame
• Curiosity and self-compassion: "accepting that negative, distorted thoughts are a natural human experience."
5. Step Two: challenge
• Lee's five steps to challenging and ultimately modifying negative thoughts:
• Examining: identifying the evidence both for and against the thought
• Exploring: what the thought means to us
• Exposing: the bias/ distortion/ assumptions on which the thought is based
• Expanding: our perspective by considering alternative believes and propositions.
• Experimenting: with different ways of thinking.
• Socratic Questioning:
6. Step Three: reframe: create an alternative appraisal of the situation that stimulated the negative thought. "The aim here is not to silence or switch off our inner critic, but to develop an alternative, positive narrative to counter it." (p.133)
• Distancing Approach:
• Given the situation, what advice would we give to a friend or loved one, what alternative believe or interpretation might we use?
• Thought Records - force breaking down the thought process.
• Belief - Alternate Belief
• Evidence for Belief - Evidence for Alternate Belief
• Emotion for Belief - Emotion for Alternate Belief
• Action for Belief - Action for Alternate Belief